Universal Stupidity

Wow! What a ride. Last week Herr Einstein and I headed off across the galaxy in search of the vastly important answer to the vital question−Where does navel lint come from? Somewhere near Andromeda, I lost Albert as the cosmic wind blew his spirit off course. However while soloing across the vastness of space, I discovered something equally important.

There’s a fabric that runs throughout the cosmos, a force that unites all things, a commonality that makes all of us connected. My discovery is: we are all universally, at one time or another, stupid. Yup! Every one of us has in our possession, moments of extraordinary lapse in intellectual perfection. Even that iconic dude, the one full of gravitational principles, Sir Isaacs Newton, had his “Whoopee cushion” moments.

Here, I’ll use me as an example. I can recall one particularly forgettable moment while I was alive on Mother Earth, when the Big Guy caught me with the “smokin’ gun”. He had some peculiar requirement that I was supposed to leave the Almond Roca treats in the litter box where our pack’s cats had made their deposits. One, less than brilliant, moment of personal clarity, I sauntered up the stairs to the astonishment of my pack possessing the lid to the litter box dangling around my neck like some large collar adornment. See, Stupidity! I’ll admit it. Not one of my more creative endeavors. And I’m here to tell you, there were consequences.

My celestial discovery is that this is a collective phenomenon. We all have our flashes of utter absurdity. This common thread that weaves its connection, bonding us beyond our whizzin’ electrons, is just another example of how similar we all are. None of us is immune. We are related, connected through our moments of intellectual density.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the other half of my cosmic discovery. What is one supposed to do with their inevitable possession of asinine experiences? You are now going to receive Dodger’s heavenly advice for helping all of us deal with this galactic inane behavior.



The Big Guy at a pinnacle momment of idocy.
Photo courtesy of Chase Hartzell



Foremost, take comfort you are not alone in the universe. All of you have, at one point or another, worn an equivalent hat from the top of a litter box. The next effective tool for surviving with your moments of personal lacking is one of self-forgiveness. While reflection and learning from our mistakes is beneficial, keeping one’s self in the present and not dwelling spectacularly in the past is this canine’s way of obtaining joy. In other words, have a short memory and savor what new challenges will cross your path. Yah see, in the future you will be given plenty of opportunities to become reacquainted with your stupidity, so why dwell. Besides laughter at one’s self is, well, just damn therapeutic.

There’s a goal in all of my cosmic dribble. I sense that we are much more connected that we like to acknowledge. The separateness we seek to feel unique drives us apart and creates the undesirable consequence of intolerance. Sound stupid, perhaps. But then again we all have it.

That’s it from this segment of Dodger’s Dribble. Until next time, may all your belly button lint turn to gold dust and all of your idiocy twinklings become spectacularly brief. Herr Einstein, where are you? Albert? Albertttttttt?-Dodger